Effective male allies need to ‘walk the walk’ to promote, mentor female colleagues
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RANCHO PALOS VERDES, Calif. — Being an effective male ally for gender equality involves more than proclaiming to be an ally, but actively working to promote and mentor female colleagues, noted a presenter at the Scrubs and Heels Summit.
“My ‘good male ally’ mindset did not come to me naturally,” Philip Schoenfeld, MD, MSEd, MSc (Epi), chief emeritus of the gastroenterology section at John R. Dingell VA Medical Center in Detroit, told attendees. “I had a general idea for most of my career that, yes, it’s important to get women involved, but it wasn’t at the forefront of my mind until I met [my now-wife] Linda Nguyen, MD. Men channel the women they empathize, which gives them a source of inspiration to support other women.”
On his own path to becoming a “good male ally,” Schoenfeld acknowledged significant differences in how one should promote the careers of women vs. men, which can present a challenge to would-be mentors and aspiring male allies.
“Men are more likely to ask for what they want,” he said. “They are assessed on their potential and are more likely to have male mentors. Compare this to women, who are more likely to have a mindset of ‘work hard and keep your head down,’ are assessed on performance and are less likely to have male mentors.
“This [difference] is crystallized by the idea that being confident — or even a little bit cocky — is considered a great quality in a man, but in a woman it might get a response of ‘don’t get too full of yourself.’”
Schoenfeld noted that “it is one thing to talk about being a male ally; it is another thing to truly walk the walk.” He provided advice for what male allies should do — and not do — to foster gender equality while dodging potential pitfalls.
To avoid having their comments interpreted as “mansplaining, manterrupting or bropropriating,” Schoenfeld recommended that it might be helpful for would-be male allies to ask: “Do you want my advice, or do you want me to just listen?”
For Schoenfeld, an effective male ally stands in for the voice of his female colleagues when they aren’t in the room and works to get them in the room when they should be. Moreover, they ask women about their experiences and support their career goals.
“What should a male ally do? A good male ally doesn’t try to tell a woman what to do,” he said. “You’re not her dad; you’re her ally. Let her drive the relationship and collaborate.”
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Schoenfeld P. Lessons learned from the consulting world and beyond: Perspective from a (m)ally. Presented at: Scrubs and Heels Summit; Feb. 17-19, 2023; Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.
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