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BLOG: Until the last breath
This blog was very hard to write. The blog title may ring a bell to dedicated Yanni’s fans, as the title is derived from one of Yanni’s songs, “Until the Last Moment.” In Yanni’s intro to the song, he says that the song is about “appreciation of life.”
Whenever I listen to the song, I feel sadness filling the air.
People get saddened by listening to sad musical pieces, watching sad movies or soap drama shows, or reading sad fiction stories. Being touched and saddened by reading a book may be less common. Over the years, I have read numerous books of various categories.
I have never been as deeply saddened by reading “When Breath Becomes Air,” by Dr. Paul Kalanithi, published last year. I have never felt like I would silently shed some tears when reading a book but, when I came to the last part of the book, my eyes got wet and I had hard time keeping my composure so no tears would escape my eyes. It would be inappropriate, I thought, if the passenger beside me would notice that. I finished reading the book on a recent San Diego-Detroit flight.
I usually buy new books at airports, and usually read them during flights; that is my favorite inflight activity is reading books.
The latest book I read was “When Breath Becomes Air.” Out of appreciation to the author, Dr. Paul Kalinithi, and his family, I am dedicating this blog to the memory of Dr. Kalanithi, who passed away in March of 2015, of metastatic lung cancer at a young age.
Dr. Kalanithi began writing this book, his first and last book, during the later stages of his disease. He continued to write the manuscript until he was much too debilitated that he could not write at all, when the cancer spread to his brain progressively and rapidly. He could not finish writing the book, but we understood from reading the book, that he completed the majority of the book. His sincere request to his family was to have the book completed, and published after his death. After he passed away, the book was completed by his wife, Dr. Lucy Kalanithi.
Dr. Kalanithi is survived by his wife, Lucy, their daughter, Elizabeth Acadia, and other family members. Their daughter, Elizabeth, was just 8 months old when Dr. Kalanithi passed away.
I do not wish to spoil the book narrative and story-line for those readers of this blog, who plan on reading the book. I just wish to quote one line from the book, on page 150 he wrote: “… even if I am dying, until I actually die, I am still living.”
These powerful words are just one example of the elegant writing style of Dr. Kalanithi.
Before he decided to go into medical school he had completed undergraduate and graduate studies in Arts, Literature, Philosophy and Biology. He wrote about numerous books, old and contemporary, that he had read since he was in grade school. Switching from literature to medicine, Dr. Kalanithi eloquently described how he returned to literature later in his life.
When you pick up “When Breath Becomes Air,” it is difficult to put it down before you finish. Not only is the narrative smooth and easy-flowing, but the power of the language will take your breath away.
Dr. Kalanithi went to the most prestigious schools, Stanford, Cambridge and Yale. A graduate of Yale School of Medicine, he returned to Stanford to start a 10-year residency and fellowship in neurosurgery. He was also a budding scientist in neurosciences. His last year in training, he was the Chief Resident in neurosurgery at Stanford.
As I alluded to earlier, of all the books written by doctors that I have read over the years, I have never been as emotionally touched as I was by reading “When Breath Becomes Air,” especially towards the end of the book.
Dr. Kalanithi wrote the book not just as a memoir but he wished to share with the world his experiences in being a doctor-patient.
I am grateful to my daughter, Dua, for mailing the book “When Breath Becomes Air” to me on my last birthday earlier in the spring.
My daughter used a trick, to make the birthday present a surprise in the mail. One day we were talking over the phone and she asked me to tell her of a book I would like to read. I told her to pick a book written by a doctor who talks about their own experience of being a patient.
And few days later, “When Breath Becomes Air” came in the mail, in time for my birthday. I began reading the book on a flight from Amman to Detroit, in late May and finished the rest of the book on the aforementioned San Diego-Detroit flight, in early June.
Incidentally, just before this San Diego trip, I was talking with a friend whom I have not seen for a long time. We were talking about doctor-patient relationship and empathy, he advised me to read a very good book about the topic. He had just found it in the airport and finished the whole book during the flight. The book he was alluding to was “When Breath Becomes Air.”
“When Breath Becomes Air” is a must-read for all — doctors, patients, non-doctors-non-patients, and pretty much for anyone who likes to read books.