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Standing up, standing out
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Is standing out in a crowd a good thing? Ask a group of adults and you will get varied responses, usually followed by an example or two that supports the answers given. Ask a group of children, however, and you will get a very passionate response.
Children learn from a young age that it can be risky at best to stand out. If you stand out in a “cool” way, in a mainstream way, you are adored. But if you happen to stand out for a reason out of the mainstream, which is often gender driven, you can become the target of envy, jealousy, spite, criticism, challenge and sometimes outright dislike. And children, in case you don’t remember, can be cruel. Whoever coined the rhyme “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me,” was never teased and taunted by their peers.
Fear to stand up
Many of us have forgotten over the years that the messages we heard as children don’t always apply as adults. We fear that to stand up for something, or to stand out for something, may get us into trouble. As adults, this can translate into, “Keeping my head down,” “Just doing my job,” or, “That’s another department’s concern.”
It is true. If you stand up, perhaps taking an unpopular stand, you will get noticed. And if you stand out, even for something well done, you can become a target. Even as an adult, you can be envied, resented or challenged for simply being good at something. What you experience as simply being your best may be perceived by someone else as being cocky, self-absorbed, competitive or judgmental.
Affirmation
In a strange paradox, standing up and standing out are also where we get much of our affirmation as human beings, contributing to society and to our work communities. When we are fully living in who we are, being willing to stand up, and to stand out, we are the most satisfied. Yes, it is risky. Yes, we will be targets. But isn’t it worth it to be our best selves?
Where are you quietly declining to stand up, or to stand out? Earning power? Work ethic? Skill sets? Compassion? Understanding of complex situations? Fairness?
Choose what is important to you, something that you feel strongly about, and take action. Make a place for yourself, even make a name for yourself. Take the risk to stand up – and take the risk of standing out. Yes, you will be a target for some. But you will be a hero to others. You also will have the satisfaction and self-respect of being true to yourself. Take the risk. Stand up. Stand out.