More on the scourge of perfectionism

ByJohn D. Kelly IV, MD

I recently had the privilege of participating in a Stress Rx instructional course lecture at the Arthroscopy Association of North America Annual Meeting. I enjoyed hearing the wisdom of colleagues, who shared their insights on how to maintain peace in a profession that can be both very rewarding and very stressful. At the end of the course, a young attendee shared how perfectionism was robbing him of joy and job satisfaction. He inquired as to the best means of overcoming this demon. My answer is as follows:

Perfection is an illusion

Perfectionism is driven by our ego; the need to be perfect is based on our fear of failure. When we give in to the throes of perfectionism, we are settling for a life riddled with fear and laden with discontent. The perfectionist always feels like he or she is missing the mark; no result is ever good enough. The routine, 20-minute knee scope draws out to an arduous, hour-long ordeal. The lecture which could have been prepared in 2 hours consumes you. You spend days upon days trying to craft your magnum opus. In the meantime, your wife and children haven’t seen you all week — and when they do, you are not present.

How to reclaim your life back

I believe the first step to recovery from the scourge of perfectionism is to bring awareness to these dysfunctional thoughts. Recognize the impulses within you to become perfect, and create a little space with your thoughts. That is, take a step back, breathe and observe these tendencies within you and do your best to get back to the present. Recognize that compulsive thinking arises from ego-related needs based on fear and excessive wants. When we return to the present, we tap in to something bigger than ourselves. The compulsive need to be perfect will slowly wane and you will gradually find yourself in the zone. This takes practice, and it will not happen overnight. Develop a habit of quieting your mind every day, whether through prayer, yoga or meditation. In time, you will be able to create more space between you and your compulsive thinking.

Change your brain

The brain is very plastic. We all can literally rewire our brain’s circuitry when we practice living in the moment. I was riddled for years with terrible obsessive compulsive traits, which caused me to deliberate for hours over certain cases. In time, I learned to recognize these dysfunctional thoughts and create space from them. I learned to return to the present moment whenever these intrusive thoughts manifested, and slowly they lost their hold on me.

I don’t claim to be Sir William Halsted, but my surgeries do indeed flow more graciously and harmoniously. Awareness of the present moment allows us to be our best. We then can attain excellence in any endeavor we undertake. Our productivity will soar as we are aligned with a boundless source of energy.

We can apply these same principles to relationships as well. No spouse, no child, no scrub tech was ever perfect. When you find yourself judging or complaining about someone, take a step back and breathe as a means to get back to a mindful state. Awareness of the present moment will shrink these thoughts, which do not emanate from a higher place.

Remember, perfection is an illusion. Perfectionists are never content — and always at risk for burnout. Get back to the zone and trust the wisdom within. Excellence is within our grasp. Right now.