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Make meaningful resolutions for the new year
With the new year, many people make resolutions in an attempt to improve the quality or the meaningfulness of their lives. To effect real change in our lives, we must examine the way we see the world and ourselves.
Steven Covey, in his masterpiece Seven Habits of Highly Effective People recognized that quantum change only occurs when the filters we used to see ourselves and the world change. Those of us who have become parents will concede that the way we perceived ourselves dramatically shifted once our child was born. When we saw ourselves as a parent, our behaviors and attitudes became radically different.
To effect quantum change for the new year, I entreat you to examine two fundamental paradigms: how you see yourself and how you perceive others.
You
If you regard yourself as unworthy, deficient and always one to prove his or her worth, you are sowing the seeds for a life of continual frustration and dissatisfaction. Many surgeons derive their entire identify with their case volume or their status amongst their peers. This evaluation scheme is built on shaky ground and is destined to disappoint.
Resolve this year to see yourself as a child of the universe deserving of dignity and respect. I believe we are all born with one large quantum of intrinsic worth and whatever we accomplish on this earth will not alter our true inestimable value. How we use our talents in the service of others will greatly affect our fulfillment; however, our genuine worth remains constant.
Science demonstrates that truly great achievers are driven by the effort — not by results. Super-achievers act from a perspective of competence and freely choose to make a contribution to the world from their sense of personal competency and abundance — not as a means to compensate for lack.
Others
How we see others will greatly impact the quality of our lives and determine the measure of happiness we experience.
Do we see others with a critical perspective, always looking for the flaws and dwelling on them? Do we hold onto past transgressions and see others as guilty for hurting us? Do we develop a singular focus on all that is wrong in the world rather than recognizing the good?
People who are exceptionally critical are seldom happy. Criticism and sarcasm is pain projected outwardly. A paradigm of fault finding yields a harvest of unhappiness and the contagion of criticism spreads rapidly and destroys cultures and families. When we become “lights” rather than critics, we create happiness at home and at work. We also slowly heal ourselves of our own “stuff” since what we put out into the world will come back to either bless or stress us.
Resolve
We can decide this year to be a love finder. We can decide for the new year to look for the good in others. When we make daily decisions to focus on all that is good in our world and in others, our lives will expand and more goodness will come our way.
Despite our past, genetics and modeling, we all have the power to decide to be a love finder — to focus on all that is good in ourselves and others.
We cannot give what we don’t have. When we adopt a loving perspective of ourselves and others, we will be buoyed up by positive energy which will overflow into a life of service and meaning.
Suggestions
Resolve to create a gratitude journal and start your day by writing down at least three people you are grateful for. Also include a list of positive traits about your significant other. Refer to it daily.
Create a personal “treasure chest” diary and at the end of the day enter cases or accomplishments you were proud of or were especially meaningful.
Change takes time. We can, with patience and perseverance, we wire our brains to become more positive in 2015. As Abraham Lincoln said, “If you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.”