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The ego’s digital escape can take you out of the ‘now’
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Regardless of where I am these days, I hear people complaining that we are losing the ability to communicate with one another. Everyone seems to be concentrating on their latest digital device; whether it is an iPhone, Blackberry, Droid, or a host of other such devices. To have an uninterrupted conversation with someone, or to see two strangers walking along who actually acknowledge one another is a rarity in today’s society. Most people seem to be looking far away as they walk or run with their iPods plugged into their ears, or they thumb and stare at their device while in the middle of a meeting or conversation. Their body is physically present, but their mind is not.
You might love your new hand-held device, but why do you love it so much? Most would say that it instantly allows them to communicate by phone or text, to pull up Google to search for information, to take photos, or do whatever hundreds of other ‘apps’ will allow him or her to do. Many would argue that we can now be ‘in’ the world more fully than ever. Those who market these devices would have us believe that they make us more productive. At the risk of having Apple and Verizon come after me, I submit that these devices are popular because, they help us to escape our immediate environment. I would also argue that, for the majority of people, these digital distractions make us less rather than more productive.
The ego in the digital age
Most of us have forgotten what we learned about the ego when we took that required psychology class in medical school. When you study the ego, you can understand why your ego loves the digital age. Never before has the ego found such a commanding and acceptable way to affect the human mind. With the signal of our favorite tune, we can instantly mentally leave our present situation and transport our being into a different digital reality.
Eckhart Tolle wrote, “To the ego, the present moment hardly exists. Only the past and future are considered important. The ego mind yearns for the past, because it defines who you are. The ego also projects into the future to seek some kind of release or fulfillment there.”
Our digital devices give us an excuse to escape the present moment, and there almost seems to be an unwritten societal rule now that tells us it is OK to ‘zone out’ of the present moment and respond to your device at any time. Even if your device is giving you real-time information, that information is coming from some other place. Hence, you cannot be engaged where you are while at the same time gazing into your little screen. The ego loves this because we have created a socially acceptable means to escape the present, ie, the task at hand, the need to actually truly listen to the person you are talking to, the discipline to concentrate on something your ego tells you is not that important, and so on.
Staying in the present
We have forgotten the wisdom of Sir William Osler, who credited his success, and the success of many others to the discipline of giving the most to life — one moment at a time, one day at a time. He recognized the mental anguish, and loss of productivity that inevitably results from consistently staying out of the present.
Dale Carnegie referred to the mental anxiety and unhappiness caused by “the crushing burden of accumulated yesterdays, and fearful tomorrows.” Stress is caused by being “here” but wanting to be “there,” or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It is a split that will tear you apart inside.
Mental well-being also stems from close personal relationships. Stephen Covey stated, “To relate effectively whether at home or at work, we must learn to listen. Listening involves the desire to understand.” The ego does not like to listen, because the ego tells us we are more important than whoever we are speaking to. It is so easy to start listening and then start to glance at that little screen for some message we think is important. Relationships at work and at home will suffer if you let that digital device interrupt meaningful, genuine, engaging conversation.
A technological trap
Used properly, this new technology can make our lives easier and more enjoyable. The fact is however, that few of us question the true reason for the immense popularity of these devices. By recognizing the hidden trap which our ego has set for us, we can learn to manage our miniature digital world, and not let it manage us.
Remember, the ego does not want you to be in the present and it will use any excuse, especially your new digital device, to distract you from whatever you are doing at that time. If you wish to decrease the stress in your life, be more productive at work, and create and keep close personal relationships, then fight the ego’s urge to constantly have your digital device on and with you at all times. Think of those important times in your day when you need to effectively work or communicate, and turn off that device. Your ego will tell you that is not what you want to do, but you will find life so much better if you can ignore the urge to escape.
John D. Kelly IV, MD, editor of Your Practice/Your Life, can be reached at University of Pennsylvania, Dept. of Sports Medicine, 235 S. 33rd St., Philadelphia, PA 19104-6322; 215-615-4400; e-mail: johndkellyiv@aol.com.
- James Serene, MD, can be reached at Penn State Orthopedics, 1850 E. Park Ave, Suite 112, State College, PA 16803; 814-865-3566.
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