Rupa Wong, MD: Embrace delegation, outsourcing to make room for what matters most

Editor's note: This is an automatically generated transcript of Season 2, episode 13 of the Healio/WIO Our View Video Blog series, which has been slightly edited for clarity. Please notify editor@healio.com if there are concerns regarding accuracy of the transcription.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to our Healio Women in Ophthalmology Vlog. I'd like to welcome Dr. Rupa Wong to our vlog today. Hi, Rupa. Welcome.

Hi, everybody. Thanks for having me. I am Rupa Wong. I am a board-certified ophthalmologist in Honolulu. I'm fellowship trained in pediatric ophthalmology, and though I am not originally from here, I met my husband in residency in New York, and that is how we ended up here and actually in practice together. And I'm the managing partner for our four-doctor practice, and I have incorporated a lot of different unique ways of my children in our practice as we were building it. And I think that it's different but also very possible for many women out there if they just think outside the box a little.

That's awesome, Rupa. Well, we're so glad to have you here today. Can you share with our viewers tips that you use to juggle all of this because you are juggling surgery. You're juggling your family. You're juggling your giant social media profile. You've got a lot on your plate. and it's really impressive. So, we'd love to hear how you manage to juggle it all.

Well, I think there's never a perfect way to do it. And it's also why I truly dislike the term work-life balance because I feel like there's no mythical balance about it. To me, that just brings up this image of trying to find that equilibrium on a seesaw, and that's just not possible. Your life is always going to tip more work during certain seasons of life or more life, more family, more personal during other seasons. And I think that that balance is very important to not try to strive towards because it sets up this unrealistic expectation of what we're supposed to be able to do. So, I think that's first, it’s just kind of changing the mindset of what's possible. And then I am really, really organized, I think partly because of my ADHD, and I forget things very easily, and we just have a lot on our plate. We have three kids, one in elementary, one in middle, one in high school. They are all in different sports, all in different activities. Of course, they could not find, like, one thing to unify them. Couldn't they just like one thing together? No, so we're always just doing all sorts of crazy things. So, the first thing is I really outsource and delegate as much as possible. My friends laugh that that's my love language. And now it's gotten so bad that my middle son is now delegating. I'll tell you a funny story about him, but I have an executive virtual assistant. So, I run my practice, or manage our Honolulu Eye Clinic, our practice. During the pandemic, my office manager was out. She was out having kids, twins, and they were premature, and she was so good, we really wanted to keep that spot available for her. But she was gone for a year and a half. So, I hired a virtual assistant, and she was then, really after, you know, a period of months and once I began to trust her, was able to step up and help me with a lot of aspects of just my personal and our work lives. So, she could handle 401k, downloading bank statements for the accountant, doing all sorts of things, setting up new hires, getting them their parking cards. Everything can be done remotely. You don't realize how much can be done remotely. So, I have a lot of virtual staff in general, but having the executive virtual assistant was really helpful because I can also send her, I don't like paying bills. I have this weird thing. I send her all the bills. I forward her things when I didn't send my insurance payment. She can just handle all the mundane things that I don't like doing. Travel, she books my academy hotel, like, the minute that thing opens. Otherwise, I forget. She sends my mom flowers. I have the birthday. I have the address. I will tell her, "Do pink this year. Here's the card." But by the time I'm driving from school, I send her a text message, "Send my mom flowers," my mom sends me a selfie when I'm already reaching the office, like, "Oh, beautiful flowers are so beautiful." So outsourcing and delegating, I think there's no shame in that. I think earlier, we all thought that we had to be super women and just absolutely do it all. But I outsource a ton. We have a housekeeper. I have someone that comes to the house and cooks meals twice a week. So, I will delegate all of the things that I don't enjoy doing or that I don't necessarily think are the best use of my time, just like we do in our practices. So, I love cooking, but I'd much rather spend time with my children. That's more important to me to drive them because that's when they're trapped in the car with me, and they're going to talk to me. So that's high on my list. That's an important family value. So, I won't give that up. So, I think the outsourcing and delegating, and then really just staying as organized as possible. My husband and I use Google Calendar. We use a shared Notes, and I use Trello, which is a project management software, to be able to just tackle all the tasks. I also have that set up with my virtual assistant as well. So just, I think those couple things help us have some semblance of organization and trying to get it all done.

Awesome. I love the tips of the virtual assistant.

It's key. She is key. But yeah, so my middle son wants to build his own PC, and he's 12. And we said, "Well, I'm not going to buy it for you." He was going to build it with his friend. So, he made this whole Google Doc with links, and he knows I'm busy because I've got back-to-back conferences. So, he sends me an email that says, "Send this to Claire." That's the name of my virtual assistant. "She can order the parts for you."

You're teaching him well.

He's delegating to your assistant.

Yeah, exactly. It's like, "Okay, I don't know if we're there yet," but it does make sense. He could just skip the middle Man.

That's amazing. So does Claire have a sister that I could hire or-

She doesn't, she doesn't. I wish I could duplicate her. Maybe, she has a friend. She is a housewife, lives in Kansas City, and has four kids. Used to be a preschool teacher but used to also do a lot of book writing and book editing. So, she's just very professional. She gets things done really quickly and efficiently and it's been amazing because a lot of things, sometimes even just I don't like to read school emails. I don't know if any of you … those emails are so long. I'll send them to her. "Just put all the important dates on my calendar and sift through it and make a spreadsheet and make me an action list so I don't have to deal with it." So, it's really nice.

That's amazing. That's amazing.

I was just going to say, I think people underplay, especially with women, I think a lot of the productivity types of podcasts tend to be by men. and they usually have a stay-at-home wife who is managing all of this. So, Claire's like my virtual stay-at-home wife.

She sounds absolutely amazing.

Yes, we always joke about that, right? I always say to my husband, "I need a wife too. I work just as much as you, if not more. That's a real thing.

We all need support, and I love how you figure it out actually: What you value and what you want to just hand off.

I think that's key because for some people, I read some article that Mark Cuban really likes doing his laundry, so he doesn't hand off his laundry. My kids know how to do laundry. I make them fold it and put it away. But that's something that I will outsource because that doesn't bring me joy, to do laundry.

Got it all figured out. I love it. This vlog could probably go on for a lot longer with all your tips and tricks, but I'm going to give you maybe a shorter question. Do you have a favorite quote or saying or mantra that gets you through a day?

I think a lot of what I tend to come up against is just really boiled down to something my dad used to say and is something that I carry on. He would always say, "The worst that someone can say is no," meaning, you may as well ask, and you may as well push a little bit, and you may as well put yourself out there. So, I got a free wedding cake because I figured I may as well ask for my wedding, right? And so those are the things, I think, also with negotiations and just having that confidence, what does it really matter if someone says no to you? It's not going to affect my self-esteem. It's not going to ruin me in any kind of way. So, I may as well just ask for it, and sometimes you're really surprised by the results.

I love that.

I really love that too. And it is surprising how many times you get a yes, or you get a complimentary gift, or you know, a better seat at a restaurant if you ask. You know, it could really range from a higher pay to a better seat at a restaurant and you know, away from the bathroom door.

Exactly.

Right. Oh, my goodness. Rupa, you have been so willing to share some of your really great pearls with us. Do you have any real-world suggestions that you do for your own wellbeing? Whether it's massage, whether it's running, whether it is a weekend away, what is it that you do to have time for you?

So, I just try to incorporate it as much as possible into my weekly schedule. I love getting a massage, and it's wonderful, but it doesn't seem to reset me necessarily. That's not enough for me. So, I need to do just a variety of different physical exercises. I'm not great at meditation. I strive to be. I am very intermittent about daily journaling. Again, I strive to be, but I run. I do Peloton, and I have an ERG in my garage. So those are the three things that I do for cardio. I have a trainer and then work out. You know, I'm 48, so we have to start lifting the heavy stuff to, you know, prevent osteoporosis. So, I have a trainer that just makes sure that I am on task and really targeting all of those things. And, though, I usually am not loving the act of getting there, I'm not one of those people. We all have friends that love running. I don't love running, like at all. I'm a 9 1/2 minute, 10-minute a mile. I am slow, but I always do feel better after it. And then the other thing I've started incorporating is walks and I think just morning walks into my daily routine if I don't have enough time. Even a 30-minute walk has been really restorative in a lot of different ways, and a lot of science on that too.

Thank you so much, Rupa, for sharing some of your tips, some of your pearls. We really appreciate all that you're doing through your social media profile, as Femida said at the start of this vlog. Thank you again for your time.

Thanks for having me.