Sumitra S. Khandelwal, MD: Prioritize and compartmentalize to limit frustration

Editor's note: This is an automatically generated transcript of Season 2, episode 15 of the Healio/WIO Our View Video Blog series, which has been slightly edited for clarity. Please notify editor@healio.com if there are concerns regarding accuracy of the transcription.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to our "Women in Ophthalmology" Healio vlog, and today I'd like to welcome Dr. Sumitra Khandelwal from Houston. Thank you for being with us today.

Thanks so much. What an exciting vlog. I'm really excited to see what the future vlogs hold as well. My name is Sumitra Khandelwal, and I'm a professor of ophthalmology at Baylor College of Medicine and also medical director for our eye bank here, and it's a pleasure to be here today.

Thank you, Sumitra. So, I'd like to first start off by asking how you manage to juggle all these roles that you have: Juggling surgery, your family commitments, the eye bank, etc. Maybe you can give our viewers some of your key tips.

You know, I think the key tip is that I don't think anybody feels like they do it perfectly well. And so, I feel that I'm very accepting, more so now than maybe five years ago, that there's going to be little things that may not go perfectly, you know. Maybe I forgot the snacks a little league. You know, maybe I had to stay late to do charting even though I promised myself that I wouldn't do that. You know, maybe I had to take a vacation during a really busy time of the year. And I think the fact that things aren't always a hundred percent perfect in each aspect of my life has really helped because there is a lot, you know, for those who don't know, I have three young kids, and they're in lots of sports, and a spouse who is wonderful and supportive but travels for work. I also create a little bit of time to organize my week. I feel like that's really helped me a lot. You know, we think about like administrative time to do your charting and your surgical notes. And I create, like, an hour every week with a nice glass of wine, and I sit down, and I have a paper calendar, and I write everything down like where every human in my world is supposed to be, you know, where I'm supposed to be, little notes for myself. And the best part is my kids are an age where they can read those notes, and they sometimes add to it even. And so, I think going back to the basics, the paper calendar, has helped us as well.

Those are great tips. Thank you.

I'm a big fan of paper. I actually have a journal that I like to write in and then my schedule that I schedule a book that I like. And anyway, yes, I totally agree.

So, it must be something too about like when you write it, you kind of remember it more. I mean if you think about like back in the day when we were learning, how many times did we write something down to remind ourselves? And then you can visualize your “step one,” notes. Like you remember like the column where you like scribbled different aspects to it. Sometimes that happens to me, too. I'm like, “Wait, where is everyone supposed to be? Oh yeah, that's right. I wrote that down on Sunday.” And so, there has to be some connection that we still have. It got us through med school and residency, and it gets you through life.

Going back to the basics. I love it. I love it. So, the question that I'm going to ask you is, do you have a favorite saying or quote or mantra, something that gets you through a crazy day?

I will say that one of the things that really helps me out when I'm getting a bit frazzled or frustrated or feel like there's a lot going on is I kind of make two little piles in my mind. And Priyanka, you kind of taught me this a little bit in the pandemic, and I say this is all the list of things that I can control today, and these are all the things that I can control this week. And here's this list of things that I just can't control. I can't control overhead. I can't control reimbursement. I can't control if my patient is going to eat a full breakfast, and I can't control if my kids are going to misbehave, but I can control other aspects of my day. And I feel like letting go of the third column helps a lot with kind of alleviating yourself from that burden, and I like to tackle the first ones — I have to get it done today. And I like to say it's okay not to get the second row, the things that need to be done in the next week, done right now. I think that's very acceptable to let that go. But the key is, I feel like if I'm going to think about it that night, if I think I'm going to wake up at 2:00 in the morning and think about it, then it probably needs to be moved from a “this week” thing to a “today” thing for my peace of mind. Not because there's a deadline today, but because, “Oh, I've got this presentation, and I just, for some reason, it's going to be a hard one. I should do it. I should work on it earlier rather than later.”

I really love those pearls. You've already shared two things with us. I like the calendar, you know, of admin time for family, planning, and the paper version of it, and also the columns. You're compartmentalizing and prioritizing. That's really what you're doing. And then letting go of the things that you really have no control over, like weather and how it's going to impact a sports event or something like that. Well, the question I have for you, Sumi, is can you share a few real-world pearls with our listeners of what you do to reset, to decompress? Organization is one, compartmentalization, that's a mouthful to say, is one. What other pearls can you share?

I mean, I think it's helpful to have something in your life where you tune everything out because I mean, for me, it's working out. Like I do like to do it. And the only time that I can consistently do it is 5:30 in the morning. And so that's when I get my workout in, if I can. It works a lot better. And when I go there, I do very active exercise, and I tune everything else out. I've tried yoga. I mean, Priyanka has seen me try to do yoga. It doesn't work, and my brain starts to wander. So, I think it's okay that like, you know, for some people, something works versus the other. Like I apparently have to like lift really heavy weights and pretend I'm a bodybuilder but not very well. I'm still the weakest person in the gym. But that really helps me, actually. And then I do get a good deep tissue massage with this wonderful masseuse or group of masseuses like once a month, and that is certainly my time, and it's sometimes at the most inconvenient time. Like it is like on Friday at 4:00, and my husband's like, "Wait, where are you going?" And I'm like, "This is my thing. Remember, we talked about this." And so, I think it's also okay to make that, that thing that you do for yourself not to be the most convenient time for everybody if you're doing it occasionally. My massage is always inconvenient for everyone else, but it's very convenient for me because how else can you enjoy your weeks and your months end but a Friday afternoon massage?

That sounds lovely, actually. I love the timing of it. Friday at 4:00. It's perfect in some ways but of course not in other ways. And you're always juggling that. That's what this whole vlog is about, how we find that balance if there is such a thing, even if it's for a moment. So, thank you so much, Sumi, for your pearls. It's been great having you on our program.

Thanks so much for the invitation, and I love what you guys are doing with this. This is amazing!