‘Lifting as you climb’ in medicine requires relationship building, time over time
Key takeaways:
- Mentees should first work on the “me parts” before focusing on the “we parts” in mentorship.
- As a mentee and mentor, it is important to take a “self-inventory.”
CHICAGO — “Lift as you climb” in medicine and take the time to build relationships, according to Kimberly Manning, MD, FACP, FAAP.
“Everything is about relationships, and we can do so much just by taking [the time] to build relationships,” Manning, professor of medicine and associate vice chair of diversity, equity, and inclusion in the department of medicine at Emory University School of Medicine, said during a Women in Medicine Summit keynote address.
Source: Jennifer R. Southall
“Determine what your mission is because if you are doing things that are ‘off mission,’ it will feel burdensome and you won’t want to do it, and when you don’t want to do it, it will show up in your behaviors, which can hurt your career and reputation,” Manning said. “Figuring out what your mission is will allow for the things that are going to ‘fill your cup.’ They’re going to feed your soul and keep you going.”
The mentee
When searching for a mentor, Manning said you must first focus on the “me parts” before getting to the “we parts.”
“That is something that all of us need to do, particularly those who are junior trying to still sort it all out,” she said. “Take self-inventory because you don’t want [the search for a mentor] to feel burdensome. What excites you? What doesn’t excite you? What can you uniquely offer as who you are? If you figure all of this out early, chances are you won’t get linked up with one of those mentors who is ‘team me and only me,’ who hands you a half-made project they worked on and tells you to finish it up, and then you become the first co-author.”
Find a mentor who will “fan your plans,” Manning continued.
“Who can fan your plans, be honest with you and help you be your own ‘missing piece’?” she said. “Who might you be overlooking who is already mentoring you? Build those relationships but understand that some will be mentoring relationships, some will not, and it is your job to ‘DTR’ — Define The Relationship.”
Figure out who can bring out the best in you and, in turn, whether you can bring out the best in them, Manning continued.
“A mentor is not going to want to give you time over time if they don’t get anything from it. Mentors like to see you soar. By you soaring, you help us to find meaning in our work,” she said. “Also, do you respect one another? Sometimes as a mentee, you can respect what someone has done, but not respect them, and it becomes very difficult for you to work together.”
Manning also advised to beware of deficit thinking — “when you think you’re a missing piece, and you’re looking for somebody to fill your missing piece.”
“Thinking as a deficit versus what do I need to grow are two totally different things,” she added. “Remember, you still need to be your own piece. You can be your own piece and still belong to each other.”
The mentor
As time goes by, you will also have to think about mentoring, because even though you are getting mentored, you will one day be a mentor too, according to Manning.
“As the mentor, it is important to ‘mentor with love.’ What does it mean to mentor with love? It means you ‘show up,’ which is actually the hardest thing for many people — to make themselves available,” she said. “If someone can’t show up for another consistently, then it is a problem. Great mentors put in time over time. They believe in you. They think you can succeed, and great mentors make room for you to shine too.”
As a mentor, it is also important to take a self-inventory, Manning added.
“I like connecting people. I like helping people succeed. I like humanizing patients. It really frustrates me when people are stereotyped, when people are indifferent with learners and patients,” she said. “So, what can I uniquely offer? Well, I can advance people’s careers, especially those from historically excluded groups. Because not only am I a person from a historically excluded group, my life and lived experience as a person from Inglewood, Calif., who went to two Historically Black Colleges and Universities is uniquely something that puts me in a position to relate in some ways that others cannot. But there is also the delicate balance of mentoring someone who is not creating them ‘in your own image,’ but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. Great mentors make others brave.”
Manning then cautioned about “mentorship malpractice.”
“Sometimes, as mentors we fall short,” she said. “We have to continue to assess ourselves as mentors. People will fall short at times and run out of time. They run out of time because it wasn’t something that they wanted to do. So don’t say yes immediately. Take the time to consider [mentoring someone] and think about your bandwidth. Consider if you can maybe connect the mentee with someone more appropriate instead.
“And watch out for ‘maybe’ because ‘maybe’ is the new ‘yes.’ ‘No’ is the only ‘no,’” she added. “If it isn’t on mission for you and it isn’t ‘filling your cup,’ then you should say ‘no.’ There are some things that we must do for people that will take from your cup and not fill it. But at some point, you will see full circle how time over time, the work that you put in comes back and fills your cup.”
For more information:
Kimberly Manning, MD, FACP, FAAP, can be reached on X (formerly known as Twitter) @gradydoctor.
Collapse
Manning K, et al. Lifting as we climb: A narrative journey through the magic of mentorship. Presented at: Women in Medicine Summit; Sept. 13-14, 2024; Chicago.
Read more about