How we remember

I recently went to a memorial service for one of my patients. She was much too young to be dying of cancer, and as frequently happens when a very young patient dies, the memorial was packed with mourners. This particular memorial was held about a month after the patient's death, so that I think people had some measure of distance between their grief and were beginning to be ready to remember the happier times. One of her siblings read a poem, which I found very soothing. He said it is called "She's Gone", and apparently it was also read at the Queen Mother's memorial in 2002:

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

In doing a Google search to find this poem, I stumbled across an article that criticizes this for not being "real" poetry (whatever that means). Although it might not have been great poetry it suited the mood of those gathered in that church to remember her, so for that I say it was perfect. I have since passed it on to another patient's family, and they liked it as well. Do you know of a nice memorial poem? Let me know.