Research provides no rest for this weary fellow
There is no room for moonlighting while balancing a research fellowship, late nights struggling with Stata and time with family.
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Several months ago, I expressed in my column the sense of relief that I felt after the end of my clinical training in cardiology. No more call nights or six-hour rounds. I was transitioning to a research fellow.
All clinical fellows can’t wait to be research fellows. Research fellows always look well-rested, fit and casual. Some don’t even carry their pagers anymore and none have to work during the holidays.
That was supposed to be my case; instead, I decided to go back to school.
Back to school
My goal is to be an academic cardiologist specialized in cardiovascular prevention epidemiologic research. There is one problem though with that goal: I have no biostatistics or epidemiology training background. Like many of you, I skip the statistics section of most scientific articles. So I decided to get a Masters degree in epidemiology and enrolled in a cardiovascular epidemiology training program.
How hard can it be to go back to school? After all, we survived medical school. What can be worse than that?
Let me tell you a thing or two about being a student again.
I’ll start by acknowledging the fact that I underestimated the amount of work that needs to be invested to do well in these classes. The first time that a professor addressed the class and announced that an assignment was due the next week, somehow I felt that he was talking to everyone else but me.
“I have been through enough already and earned my stripes; no one is telling me at this point in my career to hand in an assignment a specific day. Tell it to the intern,” was my initial reaction. Soon enough I realized that it was no joke; the assignment was due on Monday.
I learned very early how little I knew about biostatistics and how important this knowledge is to the career development of any academician. It is not easy to learn though. I am spending a ridiculous amount of time per week just trying to stay up to speed. They give us problem sets, which have to be done using Stata and sometimes take a whole week to complete. When you add the responsibilities related to the other courses, time becomes a luxury.
No moonlighting
Going back to school at this point in my life is hard. My study hours begin at 11:00 p.m. when all my kids finally go to sleep. Most days, I finish studying past 2:00 a.m. I feel like I am getting behind on my research and publications since I have little time to write and to collaborate with colleagues.
Finally, to be honest with you, I am not so sure that I will be able to moonlight this year.
I hope that in the end I made the right decision to go back to school. I hope that I can achieve a certain degree of research independence due to the knowledge and experience that I am gaining. Most of all, I can’t wait to be able to read and understand the statistic sections of journal articles and be able to debate about the adequacy or inadequacy of a particular study design.
There is probably no need to tell you that as a research fellow I am not well-rested or as fit as I would like to be. I am not playing too much golf, either. I spend my nights crunching numbers while fighting with Stata, imagining where I fit in the Kaplan-Meir survival curves, and trying to reject the null hypothesis that I will fail biostatistics.
For more information:
- Juan Rivera, MD, is a Fellow at the Johns Hopkins Ciccarone Center for Prevention of Heart Disease and a member of the Cardiology Today Fellows Advisory Board. He also writes a cardiovascular prevention blog for Hispanics called Corazon Hispano. The blog can be viewed at: corazonhispano.blogspot.com.