Christina Y. Weng, MD, MBA, on overcoming 'imposter syndrome' and the fear of failure

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Welcome, Christina. Thank you for joining us for our Women in Ophthalmology Healio vlog series on leadership.

Well, first of all, Femida, thank you so much to you, and Cynthia and Priyanka for having me. This is an amazing initiative, and I'm so honored to be part of it. My name is Christina Weng. I'm a Professor of Ophthalmology at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas, and I also serve as the fellowship program director here. I've been here for about eight and a half years now, and I am proud to also say that I'm currently the Vice President of Women in Ophthalmology, or WIO.

Yay! That's wonderful.

Yes, I've worked with both of you, and I know both of you have held leadership positions and done so much for this tremendous organization. So again, so happy to reunite here on Zoom.

Excited to have you. So why don't you start off, Christina, and share with us some pearls, leadership pearls, that you've [gathered] in your career.

Yeah, absolutely. I think there's a lot that I've been able to gain from my mentors, but Femida, I'd have to say that my favorite one is “seek commitment, not compliance.” And I think about this all the time, because I think it applies to so many different settings. The difference is this, compliance is getting people to do what they're supposed to do. And of course, this is just one part of leadership, and an important part, but ultimately, a leader is not a manager or a dictator, right? It's someone who's inspirational. And so, when you get people to truly commit to your vision, they do more. They do better work because they want to, not because they have to. And of course, this is easier said than done, but I always try to keep this top of mind.

That's wonderful.

That's a great, great pearl. And you know, hearing the difference like that with a definition side by side, really makes sense. So, Christina, thank you for sharing that pearl.

 Of course.

Now, I have a question for you, Christina. You know, you've worked so hard, and you have achieved so much. I am sure along the way you have experienced some hurdles in the leadership department. Could you please share one of these challenges that you've experienced and how you overcame them?

Of course, Cynthia. And you know, I just want to mention first of all that none of us get to where we are without challenges, and we should not have that fear of failure, because I think you learn something from every challenge that you overcome, and even some that you don't overcome. So, the one that really comes to mind is from my business school period. So, I did a dual MD-MBA degree when I was at the University of Michigan. And in business school, most of our assignments were done through randomly assigned teams, very different from medical school. And right when I started, I was designated as the team lead of one of our projects. And long story short, I made three significant leadership fumbles, kind of embarrassing, but I'm sharing these today because I think that a lot of listeners out there can probably relate. So, the first one is that I divvied up work that probably should have been approached collectively, or jointly. And what ended up happening is this led to each of us sort of working in silos. And there was no synergy, no cross-pollination of ideas. And you all know that that is really the magic of teamwork. And I really stifled that by the way I did things there. The second is that I gave myself the lion's share of the work. And I did this thinking that, you know, this way nobody would complain, and because I, also, I think secretly, I just didn't know any of my teammates all that well, and I didn't know what the quality of their work was going to be, so I sort of hedged and took more of it on myself. And unfortunately, this really led to a lack of engagement amongst all team members. And I think they really felt that they weren't an integral part of the team, because they didn't have that many responsibilities. And it was really a lose-lose, because I in turn ended up feeling so overwhelmed by the amount of work resting on my shoulders. And the third thing that I did was constantly checking in on my team members and thinking that I was being supportive, when in fact, I was just being a helicopter team lead. And so in the end, our project delivered was good, but it probably could have been a lot better with all the talent amongst us. And that experience, Cynthia, really taught me a lot of important lessons. But the one I want to highlight for you is this: You have to trust your team, and you have to give people the freedom to succeed. It sounds easy, but it's actually very hard for people like myself, and probably like you both too, who are perfectionists and hyper focused on attention to detail. I know I'm always scared that something will be missed. It's really an issue for me. So is it still a challenge? Absolutely. But putting trust in my team, whether it's at the clinic, or the OR, or organizational level, is really something that I try to practice daily now.

Wonderful.

Wow. That really is wonderful, Christina. And you know, sometimes, as the adage goes, we learn more from something we didn't do as well. And those things stick in our minds, like a case that we could have done differently. Or a situation like the one you described that you could have handled differently.

Yeah, absolutely.

So many of the lessons, right, that we learn, are actually from failures, so we call them, right? So, actually, the experience of not getting it perfect is actually the lesson. It's wonderful. Wonderful pearls. So Christina, what pearls would you give yourself, or advice would you give yourself to your 20 year younger self? Although, you are very young.

Not that young, ladies, not that young. It's all a filter.

Your younger self, maybe not 20 years younger, but just your younger self.

All the filters on Zoom, thank goodness. So Femida, I think that's a great question, and I think that the best advice would be to just go for it. And it really goes back to what we were just discussing about really trying to overcome that fear of failure. I still have that all the time, I have to admit. So I don't want to be hypocritical in saying that, but the best advice is just go for it. You know, I think a lot of us when we're presented with leadership opportunities, many of us struggle with imposter syndrome, or the feeling that we're just, quote unquote, "Not ready yet." And the truth that I've learned in my early career is that you'll probably never feel fully ready for anything, but that's okay, because inevitably you'll learn as you go, even as you stumble, as you just alluded to. So, I tell my trainees that you learn how to swim in the water, not on dry land. And really, while we're on the topic of imposter syndrome, which I really like to talk about because it applies to, to everybody, right? I think a lot of people, men and women, have this, but it absolutely disproportionately affects women. I truly believe that. And as both of you know, Audina M. Berrocal and I co-edited a book called "Women in Ophthalmology: A Comprehensive Guide for Career and Life" last year, and I wanted to give a shout out, first of all, to Cynthia, who contributed an amazing chapter on personal finances, but also to the co-organizer of this amazing initiative Priyanka Sood, who wrote a wonderful chapter which discusses imposter syndrome and how overcoming it can really lead to incredible personal and professional growth. So, I encourage everybody to read her chapter. I think it's really insightful. And the final thing I'll really mention is directed to all of our ophthalmology sisters, which is that we're very fortunate to be in a time where gender diversity is improving overall. But I'm sure you will both agree that we could still use more women representation at the top. So, remember that when you say yes to a leadership position, you're moving the needle for all of us, not only by showcasing what you can do, but also by inspiring the next generation of leaders who are watching and quietly cheering you on. And then lastly, don't forget to join Women in Ophthalmology, WIO, one of the most spectacular organizations. And it's been a pleasure to work with you both more closely. You are both inspirational for me.

You as well. It's been a pleasure having you here, Christina. And I love this message: Just like Nike, we’ve just got to do it.

That's right. That's why it's the famous slogan, "Just do it." And it seems so simple, but just keep that in mind anytime you're presented with a great opportunity.

Christina, those were fantastic pearls that you shared with us. Thank you so much for your wisdom, your energy, and your time.

Thank you so much, Cynthia, Femida and Priyanka. Great to see you all.

Thank you.